By Fr Ramon Borja, SDB
…a prayer conversation between the Risen Lord and a trying hard lover-believer
HAPPY EASTER everyone!
Obviously (as this picture shows), I am now in Tagaytay, Philippines, having my home vacation, spending bonding moments with my tatay and siblings here. Lovely!
Obviously (as this picture shows again), Taal volcano is now not anymore as green and scenic as it used to be, where trees and plants used to flourish. Is it still lovely?
But honestly, for me, though now it looks so gray, dried and lifeless, I still love it. It is still for me the picturesque scenario I would love to see and stare at… while enjoying a cup of coffee feeling its warmth in contrast with the cool Tagaytay breeze. I have loved Taal-Tagaytay tandem long and deep enough to love it still even though it now looks dreary.
Makes me recall that midnight of 17 April. After the Easter Vigil in Holy Trinity Church, I went home and had my quiet moment sitting on a bench in our chapel in our Foochow Road residence. In front of the Tabernacle, the image of Jesus crucified, and the lighted Paschal Candle, I thanked and praised God for the gift of Easter. I was thanking Jesus for his victory over sin and death… for me personally. I told Him He’s such a winner God, went through a lot and rose above gloriously triumphant. Woow! He is indeed my Risen Lord!
But you know what? While I was telling Him my thanks and praises, my love and awe, I felt Jesus was responding, telling me… “Thanks Mon. I so appreciate your love, gratitude, and belief in me. Terima kasih!”
I then felt Jesus continued telling me this… “I am just wondering… WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME EVEN IF I AM NOT A WINNER GOD? What if after suffering and dying for you that Friday afternoon, I remained dead and lifeless… and there came no Easter Sunday morn… would you still love me? Would you still love me that much even if there were only passion and death, and no resurrection?
What if I did not rise from the dead, would you still love me, believe in me, and follow me with your whole life? What if I turned out to be a loser God, would you still obey me and observe what I have commanded you? Would you still come and follow me? Would you still deny yourself, love as I have loved, take up your cross, go the extra mile, do good to those who hate you, forgive seventy times seven, go into the deep, pray unceasingly, love God with your all and your neighbor as yourself?
What if there had been no resurrection, would you still love me, follow me, dedicate your one and only one life to me? Would you?”
That night, when Jesus asked me if I will still love Him even if there was no Easter… I told Him I would. I prayed and said, “I love you Jesus. I’ll follow you Jesus. With or without Easter, I will.”
Saying so, I felt more Easter than ever.
For me, that night literally turned into an Easter morn.
How can I not love him with or without His winning? He who has loved me so dearly even when I have hurt Him so deeply? For much more than Taal-Tagaytay tandem, I pray that this Jesus-and-me tandem would last long and grow deep enough. That with or without resurrection, my love for Him would grow big with affection and dedication.
And so to Jesus’ question, “WOULD YOU LOVE ME STILL EVEN IF HYPOTHETICALLY THERE HAD BEEN NO RESURRECTION?” I give my “YES!”, never hypothetical but hopefully honest, humble and hyper.
